Post It Note!

Just a quick note to say I'm off to bonnie Scotland to see the hubby ;o)  It's a last minute thing so bear with me whilst I'm off on a mini blogging break!

Back on Monday... Isn't it wonderful that it coincides with all this fabulous weather?!  Love Edinburgh in the sun!

:o)

Wedding Day Stories Linky

Although newly recruited to blogging, I'm totally excited by all these linkys that are appearing - what a great concept! It has been so much fun reading other's stories on the same subject. Shelley's inspired post for people to share their wedding experiences is just the perfect excuse to share wedding photos. :o)  Aaahh!  How gorgeous.  Makes me want to do it all over again!

I married my best friend in 2005. Both of us came from divorced families and as such, decided to host our big day away from both our home towns (mine being Newry and Wad's being Edinburgh). We married in a gem of a place in the foot of the Scottish Highlands, a place called Pitlochry. The venue was the Atholl Palace. We hosted the ceremony and the reception there... and all the guests stayed the night - after a big old ceilidh!! ;o)

It was a fantastic day but over far too soon. Rather than relive it in words, I'll give you a whistle-stop tour in some photos that were taken by our guests.
Enjoy!
 

The Venue - The stairs are to be my 'aisle'!

Me and mum before the ceremony...you can hardly see
her wheelchair in this photo. Ahem, yes, I am blond here! I took
to the bottle at uni and stayed blond until a couple of years ago!

I chose a harpist to play Canon in D
to walk down the 'aisle' to.

These were the table centrepieces, chosen to represent
Nanda.  It was said by all my aunts that after Nanda
passed away, each of them discovered a butterfly in
some capacity in each of their homes.

My 4 yr old sister as flowergirl, leading my other
two sisters and my chief bridesmaid, preceding me down the 'aisle'!

Me, my dad and my matron of honour successfully negotiating the
 'aisle'!  The smell of the lavender is something I'll never forget.

The view from the top of the aisle... after our vows had been exchanged
and the champagne had been poured!

'You want me to what?!'

'Whoops, here we go!'

'And strike a pose!'

Uncle Pete - aka UP - Wad's Aussie uncle. He attended with his wife from
Sydney and kindly agreed to play the bagpipes for us!

Brothers and sisters...From L to R
My brother - usher
Wad's brother - Best Man
My sister - bridesmaid
Wad!
My sister - Flower Girl
Me!
My sister - VIP ;o)
My brother - usher
My sister - bridesmaid

Wad - my groom,
My better half
My boy
My best friend

We lit a candle for our grandparents who could not share our day.

First Dance

 

My stepdad. He may not have given me away but he
raised me as his own :o)

The product of the perfect marriage!!

Hope you have a lovely day Shelley!  Enjoy every second...it flies by!

:o)

Grandmother's Ring Linky

I have just been to Thea's blog reading a post on her late grandmother and the ring she left her.  It left me thinking about my past and where I came from.  Where my daughter will essentially have come from.

The ring pictured on Thea's blog is my paternal grandmother's engagement ring, left to me when she died shortly after I was born.  She had died less than a year after my paternal grandfather had died so I never knew either of them and I know very little about them.  This is because my father never discusses them - probably because they both died before he turned 20.

My maternal grandparents were in my life from a very early age as the marriage between my mother and father broke down very quickly...they were too young.  My grandfather (Nanda) died when I was 20 and I still miss him.  He was always smiling.  My grandmother (Nanny) is still with us and I am very fond of her too.  She looks fabulous for her age and the only thing I want her to leave me is her youthful appearance! Lol!  She is also South African, born and raised in Zimbabwe (Rhodesia). Nanda had come from Northern Ireland to Africa to work in the police and that is how he met Nanny.  In that day, I expect it would have been quite a big deal to have gone so far from home.  If I had a chance to ask my Nanda one more question, I would ask him why he did it.  It impresses me that he did something so adventurous!

Of course, he's not nearly as impressive as Wad's grandfather.  A decorated lieutenant-colonel in the Royal Scots, he was an intimidating figure, with war stories to make your hair curl and connections to many persons of note including Queen Elizabeth II.  Wad's grandmother was an established 'lady', born of a very long standing Scottish clan.  Sadly, both have passed away, leaving only mementos of WWII and a clan name.  Wad's father was disowned by his mother shortly after Wad's grandfather died.  He has not seen his grandmother since he was 11 years old.  Tragic, considering Wad is the last surviving male heir to his grandmother's clan name.

Of course, history does not make the person.  Wad is not an army man.  He is an architect.  I am nothing like my forebears either but who knows?  There is an unsettling likeness between Bubble and her paternal grandmother at this age...I only hope it is just a physical likeness!

:o)

To sleep, perchance to...Sleep?!

image credit

It's Sunday morning.  I am bleary eyed, slurping on a strong coffee, ignoring the cataclysm-esque mess that is my living room and the squeals of delight from my daughter as she contributes to that mess with her aunties.  Her aunties (my sisters) are 10 and 6 years old and I had them for an overnight stay.  We had great fun but I'm dreading the point when I am going to have to face up to the carnage and start clearing it up!

I'm knackered.  Really tired.  I've not been posting this week because of it.  I'm so tired I thought I might be pregnant...but I've done a test and it's negative.  I'm prone to heart palpitations when I'm run down and tired and I've had them regularly this week.  Only little 10 second bursts but still, I know I'm run down when they come along.

Bubble's night-nursing has not abated one bit either.  In fact, she has been quite restless at night.  This is one of the major problems with co-sleeping.  If the little one is ill, uncomfortable or restless, you don't get a good night's sleep.  I've been awake at night, nearly tearing my hair out in frustration because Bubble won't settle.  It has made me think seriously about getting her out and into her own bed.

*yawn*

And yet, last night she cried out in her sleep (a bad dream perhaps) and I pulled her to me, her back to my tummy, and wrapped both my arms around her, whispering "it's ok Bubble, it's ok".  She reached her arm up and touched my face, said "Mama" and sighed.  Then fell into a deep and peaceful sleep that lasted til this morning.  When she woke, she woke with a big grin and held my face in both her chubby wee hands saying, "Mama?"

Moments like these are worth the frustrating times for me.

:o)

Grateful for...

...Optimism.

Specifically, my optimisim.  No matter how many roadblocks are thrown in my path, no matter how much it seems that they knock me down, I always manage to get up.  I never fail to get excited about the next course of action.  Never fail to put all my energy into making it work. No matter how often it fails...

That doesn't mean I don't feel the exhaustion and pain of failure.  I often feel so tired that I want to give it all up.

But I don't.

I ought to acknowledge that and be grateful for it.

:o)

It is enough.

I recently read (and commented on) a post by Shelley at My Shoebox Life on being yourself.  You can read it here.

It has really made me think.  Not just about being myself but about a whole host of issues surrounding me as a person and where I am in my life.  I wrote a post recently when I was a little down and in it I discussed how I was at loggerheads somewhat with two of my longest standing friends.  I am now convinced the issue truly lies with me and not them.

You see,  I think I spend an inordinate amount of effort trying to be something I'm not.  Forcing the square into the circle so to speak.  I also waste alot of energy worrying about what others think.  This is probably due to a slightly chameleon aspect to my personality where I try to fit in no matter what the scenario.

I think it's time I let go.  I think it's time I tried to just be exactly who I am.

This will be no easy thing.  I have spent years cultivating certain behaviours that are going to be difficult to undo.

But I think I'm going to give it go.  And let the chips fall where they may.

(Thank you Shelley.)

Grateful for...

...a daughter's delight. :o)

Generational Scolding

Well, after yesterday's melancholy post, I thought I might buck up my ideas and get out and about today.  Getting out and about today with my mum.  And Bubble.  This is not the easiest thing in the world.  Mum is in a wheelchair and Bubble is 16 months old so you can imagine the kerfuffle getting in and out of the car!  Not that I mind... one of my favourite things about this kind of generational shopping is our 'choo-choo train' - mum pushes Bubble and I push mum.  We make a bit of a scene along the street shouting "choo! choo!" to the obviously squealing delight of Bubble.

Love it.
Today though, Bubble was not sharing my optimistic, get up and go mood.  Bubble was not up for anything today, least of all shopping with Mummy and Nanny.  She has been exploring her ever increasing capacity for talented tantrum throwing, alongside her exploration of her vocal cords (how high do YOU think I can scream mummy?).

We were in Mothercare trying to purchase a swimsuit for the little demon.  And little demon she was...you could NOT watch this greased streak of toddler lightning.  Mum and I juggled managing the little darling whilst trying to locate swimwear (having asked the shop assistant who stated no, all swimwear had been removed because it was now autumn/winter stock.  You can imagine her face when I pointed out that swimming is a year round activity.  Anyway I digress...).  At one point the three of us managed to line up, like planets in the solar system, Bubble right next to the automatic doors, me about 5 meters back and mum about 5 meters behind me.  The conversation went a bit like this.

Mum: Cheryl! She's at the door!
Me: Isobel! Don't you even think about moving through that door!
Mum: Cheryl! Don't you dare take a risk with her at that door!
Bubble:  (excited squeal)
Me: Isobel! Nanny is now shouting at ME! Get back here right now!

As Bubble danced on her toes, squealing and attempting to run through said door, I ran after her and caught her up in my arms tickling her til she giggled out loud.  I turned around to bring her back to my mum to find about 4 sales staff laughing at us.

I have dubbed this kind of situation as 'Generational Scolding'.

:o)

Off the radar

image credit

I've been off the radar a bit.  I've been trying to get my head in gear.  Lots of little things have been trying me, not least that Bubble has upped her breastfeeding during the day to record amounts.  I'm pretty sure this is knackering me through her taking all my goodness so soon after being ill. (not seriously, Bubble and I just had a nasty headcold)  So I'm quite tired at the moment which means I'm less inclined to make the effort to post when Bubble hits the sack.

Another issue is a lond standing friend of mine has gone very cool on me. I'm used to her caustic humour but, of late, her comments have had an edge.  This is no new feeling.  Another of my long standing friends and I have been circling each other like cats for years now.  The loss of one is hard enough but the thought of losing the second is particularly upsetting.

I'm not an idiot.  I do wonder that it might be me and not them.  That I might just be one of those people who can't help but piss others off.  I really, really don't mean to.  I really, really don't know if I have but I certainly have no other explanation as to why the dislike creeps in.  I actually make a concerted effort to be as nice as possible.  But people do tire me.  I might not show it but I have very little patience for small-mindedness, bitching about others, judging others, hypocrisy, etc.  I could go on. 

Live and let live, I say.  If it's not hurting you or yours then who are you to complain?  Like long-term breastfeeding.  Yes my child is a toddler and she still breastfeeds.  No, it's none of your business.  I'm not hurting you, so why should you care?  It's not like I whop out a breast in the street and let her suckle but I do let her lead the breastfeeding in the privacy of my own home.  Which leads me back to the fact she's nursing ALOT. And that I'm tired.  Which means I'm a bit more sensitive than usual, I suppose.

Another addition to the pile is a frustated lead for our move to Australia.  It's not a 'no' but it's not a definitive 'yes'.  We need a 'yes' in our lives.  Wad and I need some light at the end of our tunnel.  We knew these hard times wouldn't be forever but we have to admit that on occasion it wears us down.  I was looking at photos of our travels back in 2006 and was shocked to see how much better and healthier Wad looked.  These last few years have really taken their toll on him.

I love my husband very much.  He works his backside off to keep us afloat.  It hurts me to see the change.

Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Keep your fingers crossed for a 'yes' in the near future.

:o)

Mini Rant - fed up with my sister texting when I am TALKING to her!

One of my pet irritations in this life is when the person you are directing your conversation to does not look at you.  It is something that is so wonderfully and currently demonstrated by my 23 year old, blackberry owning, facebooking, bms-ing, texting sister who (declaring how fantastic she is at multi-tasking) will have cyber conversations with about 10 other people whilst having a REAL LIFE conversation with me....minus eye contact but plus alot of 'Mmm'ing and 'yeah?'.

Now I am not suggesting she sit there like a lunatic staring at me intensely for the entire duration of our conversation but I do expect the odd courteous glance to indicate that she does acknowledge my existence, indeed is interested in what I have to say. ('Mmm'ing does NOT indicate interest)

It is part of those little body language cues that we all use to communicate on a subliminal level...the ones that you can't read when you are driving, hence the reason behind road rage.  For example, driver A may have made a genuine mistake in cutting up driver B's ass on the motorway but driver B can't see the apology in driver A's body language and so loses it and adds another 100 to the already overloaded mileage in his car just to drive up driver A's tailpipe to show him 'whose boss' and teach him some feckin' road manners. (use your effin' indicator you effin' muppet!!)

All I'm saying is that eye contact is not only courteous but necessary when communicating effectively with other people.

Look at me when I am speaking to you!!  Ok don't.  I'll just write up a little rant on my blog, defaming you forever through the medium of the written word as a 23 year old, blackberry owning, facebooking, bms-ing, texting muppet excuse for a sister.

Oh that's so cute....She just said, "Oooo! It's all about YOU isn't it?"

Call me attention seeking, limelight hogger, love-me-do whatever, but when you do it, I expect you to LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM SPEAKING TO YOU.

(I love the little runt really)