Home is where the Heart is

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It has been a very long time now that Wad and I have been in this routine.   By 'this routine' I mean that he works away all week and comes home to us at the weekend.  But that isn't even 'the routine' anymore.   There is no longer a routine. Wad's work absences have been stretching into increased periods away from hearth and home that now he can be apart from us for two weeks at the time... It's awful.   Bubble is now at an age where she now recognises that Daddy leaves and as such has some separation anxiety with him. When he is home, she won't let him out of her sight.   It is quite a stressful situation and only places more strain on the already taut nerves of our family unit.

It has been an even longer time that Wad and I have dreamed of relocating to Australia.   We're watching lots of family and friends flee the recession here in the UK to find their place in our dream and that's hard too. 


But in a way the 'routine' has made it more imperative for us to be together as a family than to find a way to Australia.   So Bubble and I are going to join Wad across the water.   We've found a cute little abode that will serve as our castle, from where we will plan our attack against the invading hordes of the double dip recession.   We'll stand together as a family unit because that is the only way we're going to get through this difficult period in our life.

And when it's over, we'll tell the story of our 'hard times' to our children, berating them on how easy life is for them... living in the sun, surfing every day, eating al fresco.   We'll tell them how hard we worked to get where we are, that they should work hard too so that they can enjoy the fruits of their labour.

And they will roll their eyes and stomp off, grumbling about Mum and Dad's 'life lecture' that they've heard a HUNDRED times before!

:o)

Grateful For Grandads

Bubble's paternal grandfather has been AWOL for six months.  But then, he is notorious for disappearing for months at a time so this is nothing unusual.  He is an alcoholic and has been battling with this for the last 17 years.  For a period of about 5 years he was dry... he was even in attendance at our wedding.  Everyone thought he was a very charming and affable man.  But then his wife passed away from cancer and he fell into the drink again and has not really made it out since.

It is difficult for Wad to discuss his father.  He has experienced alot of pain and hardship as a result of choices his father made.  He will never forget that, ultimately, when forced to choose between his family and the drink, his father chose to drink.

Is it odd for me to say that I am grateful for the way Wad's father treated him?  Wad's father, through his maltreatment of Wad, has actually solidified Wad into the most dependable and caring man.  A completely devoted father.  He has vowed never to let his wife and family down.  He works like a slave to keep us afloat in this recession.  He cannot get enough of Bubble and is desperate for the time that is just him and her.

The complete opposite to the way his father behaved in a very similar situation.

It's a sad story and one that most likely will not have a happy ending.  But I am grateful for the influence that Bubble's grandad has had on her father because we are in a much stronger position as a family because of him.

Grateful For Grandads

Bubble has three grandads (so this is the first of 3 Gratefuls). She owes a good many things (and each different) to each of them.  The above image is of Bubble and her Grandad through my mum's marriage.  My step-father.  He is not related to her by blood but he loves her (like he loves me) as his own and does all the 'grandad' things with her that her other two grandads are unable to.  She owes stability and security to him.  He is the kind of man that is a rock in a storm, a safe harbour.  He will always be there for her and I am very grateful for him.

One Child Wonder

First off, can I say thankyou to all the lovely comments on last Saturday's Grateful post!  Bubble is on the mend and devastating my make-up bag as I type!  Although if anyone can suggest how I get her eat anything other than cheerios and digestives, I'd be awfully grateful! (again...that's a good one for next Saturday!)

I discovered recently that a friend of mine is an only child.  Which astounded me as she has none of the usual attributes associated with single children.  She is not selfish nor does she have any family issues.  In fact she always has a smile for you and is a caring listener.

The reason this is of interest to me is because, for some strange reason, I don't know that I will have any more children.  I think I always thought I'd have two or three and this feeling comes as a surprise.  When trying to concieve Bubble, I desperately wanted her.  There was nothing in my life more important.  Now that I have her, I feel blessed and I am in total adoration of every aspect, every molecule that makes up my wonderful little girl.

But I have no desire to have another.

It's not that I don't want another baby, I'm just totally indifferent.  In my heart of hearts, I want Bubble all to myself, her and me against the world! Lol... But to have another just because...well, I'm not so sure.  I feel that I should want the second child as much as I wanted Bubble.  I think I worry that if I don't want the next as much, will I love that child as much as I love her?

Then again I have to ask myself, is it really such a wrong to not have any more children?  Everyone says to me, 'Oh! You have to give her a wee brother or sister' but why?  It didn't adversely affect my friend so why would it affect my daughter?  It isn't as if we live in the middle of the desert with no other human contact.  She has plenty of friends and second cousins to play with.  Or am I just justifying my lack of interest in another baby?  Answers on a postcard!

Am I being weird?  Have any other mothers felt like this?!

Help! :o)

Wedding Day Stories Linky

Although newly recruited to blogging, I'm totally excited by all these linkys that are appearing - what a great concept! It has been so much fun reading other's stories on the same subject. Shelley's inspired post for people to share their wedding experiences is just the perfect excuse to share wedding photos. :o)  Aaahh!  How gorgeous.  Makes me want to do it all over again!

I married my best friend in 2005. Both of us came from divorced families and as such, decided to host our big day away from both our home towns (mine being Newry and Wad's being Edinburgh). We married in a gem of a place in the foot of the Scottish Highlands, a place called Pitlochry. The venue was the Atholl Palace. We hosted the ceremony and the reception there... and all the guests stayed the night - after a big old ceilidh!! ;o)

It was a fantastic day but over far too soon. Rather than relive it in words, I'll give you a whistle-stop tour in some photos that were taken by our guests.
Enjoy!
 

The Venue - The stairs are to be my 'aisle'!

Me and mum before the ceremony...you can hardly see
her wheelchair in this photo. Ahem, yes, I am blond here! I took
to the bottle at uni and stayed blond until a couple of years ago!

I chose a harpist to play Canon in D
to walk down the 'aisle' to.

These were the table centrepieces, chosen to represent
Nanda.  It was said by all my aunts that after Nanda
passed away, each of them discovered a butterfly in
some capacity in each of their homes.

My 4 yr old sister as flowergirl, leading my other
two sisters and my chief bridesmaid, preceding me down the 'aisle'!

Me, my dad and my matron of honour successfully negotiating the
 'aisle'!  The smell of the lavender is something I'll never forget.

The view from the top of the aisle... after our vows had been exchanged
and the champagne had been poured!

'You want me to what?!'

'Whoops, here we go!'

'And strike a pose!'

Uncle Pete - aka UP - Wad's Aussie uncle. He attended with his wife from
Sydney and kindly agreed to play the bagpipes for us!

Brothers and sisters...From L to R
My brother - usher
Wad's brother - Best Man
My sister - bridesmaid
Wad!
My sister - Flower Girl
Me!
My sister - VIP ;o)
My brother - usher
My sister - bridesmaid

Wad - my groom,
My better half
My boy
My best friend

We lit a candle for our grandparents who could not share our day.

First Dance

 

My stepdad. He may not have given me away but he
raised me as his own :o)

The product of the perfect marriage!!

Hope you have a lovely day Shelley!  Enjoy every second...it flies by!

:o)

Grandmother's Ring Linky

I have just been to Thea's blog reading a post on her late grandmother and the ring she left her.  It left me thinking about my past and where I came from.  Where my daughter will essentially have come from.

The ring pictured on Thea's blog is my paternal grandmother's engagement ring, left to me when she died shortly after I was born.  She had died less than a year after my paternal grandfather had died so I never knew either of them and I know very little about them.  This is because my father never discusses them - probably because they both died before he turned 20.

My maternal grandparents were in my life from a very early age as the marriage between my mother and father broke down very quickly...they were too young.  My grandfather (Nanda) died when I was 20 and I still miss him.  He was always smiling.  My grandmother (Nanny) is still with us and I am very fond of her too.  She looks fabulous for her age and the only thing I want her to leave me is her youthful appearance! Lol!  She is also South African, born and raised in Zimbabwe (Rhodesia). Nanda had come from Northern Ireland to Africa to work in the police and that is how he met Nanny.  In that day, I expect it would have been quite a big deal to have gone so far from home.  If I had a chance to ask my Nanda one more question, I would ask him why he did it.  It impresses me that he did something so adventurous!

Of course, he's not nearly as impressive as Wad's grandfather.  A decorated lieutenant-colonel in the Royal Scots, he was an intimidating figure, with war stories to make your hair curl and connections to many persons of note including Queen Elizabeth II.  Wad's grandmother was an established 'lady', born of a very long standing Scottish clan.  Sadly, both have passed away, leaving only mementos of WWII and a clan name.  Wad's father was disowned by his mother shortly after Wad's grandfather died.  He has not seen his grandmother since he was 11 years old.  Tragic, considering Wad is the last surviving male heir to his grandmother's clan name.

Of course, history does not make the person.  Wad is not an army man.  He is an architect.  I am nothing like my forebears either but who knows?  There is an unsettling likeness between Bubble and her paternal grandmother at this age...I only hope it is just a physical likeness!

:o)

I've been to many places...

I have been to many places but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go there alone; you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've never been in Cognito either. I hear no-one recognises you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport - you have to be driven there. I have made several trips thanks to my family.

;o)