Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Off the radar

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I've been off the radar a bit.  I've been trying to get my head in gear.  Lots of little things have been trying me, not least that Bubble has upped her breastfeeding during the day to record amounts.  I'm pretty sure this is knackering me through her taking all my goodness so soon after being ill. (not seriously, Bubble and I just had a nasty headcold)  So I'm quite tired at the moment which means I'm less inclined to make the effort to post when Bubble hits the sack.

Another issue is a lond standing friend of mine has gone very cool on me. I'm used to her caustic humour but, of late, her comments have had an edge.  This is no new feeling.  Another of my long standing friends and I have been circling each other like cats for years now.  The loss of one is hard enough but the thought of losing the second is particularly upsetting.

I'm not an idiot.  I do wonder that it might be me and not them.  That I might just be one of those people who can't help but piss others off.  I really, really don't mean to.  I really, really don't know if I have but I certainly have no other explanation as to why the dislike creeps in.  I actually make a concerted effort to be as nice as possible.  But people do tire me.  I might not show it but I have very little patience for small-mindedness, bitching about others, judging others, hypocrisy, etc.  I could go on. 

Live and let live, I say.  If it's not hurting you or yours then who are you to complain?  Like long-term breastfeeding.  Yes my child is a toddler and she still breastfeeds.  No, it's none of your business.  I'm not hurting you, so why should you care?  It's not like I whop out a breast in the street and let her suckle but I do let her lead the breastfeeding in the privacy of my own home.  Which leads me back to the fact she's nursing ALOT. And that I'm tired.  Which means I'm a bit more sensitive than usual, I suppose.

Another addition to the pile is a frustated lead for our move to Australia.  It's not a 'no' but it's not a definitive 'yes'.  We need a 'yes' in our lives.  Wad and I need some light at the end of our tunnel.  We knew these hard times wouldn't be forever but we have to admit that on occasion it wears us down.  I was looking at photos of our travels back in 2006 and was shocked to see how much better and healthier Wad looked.  These last few years have really taken their toll on him.

I love my husband very much.  He works his backside off to keep us afloat.  It hurts me to see the change.

Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Keep your fingers crossed for a 'yes' in the near future.



  1. Chin up Cheryl. I can only imagine how hard it must be living in limbo as you are. It's no wonder you are feeling tired.
    Thanks for stopping by my Blog and leaving a comment. And yes, I have my fingers firmly crossed for you.

  2. Thanks ladies :o) we're ok just a bit tired. Much more positive today I might add! I mean, what on earth will I moan about on my blog if we DO get to Australia!



Thanks for dropping by! I'll be sure to pop over to you too sometime soon :o)

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