Sunday 31 July 2011

Please go to sleep

I’m shattered.  It took me an hour and twenty minutes to get Bubble to sleep.   It’s times like these I feel the frustration of my choices on my parenting of her.  I read all those books.  I made a ‘plan’.  But I chucked those books and that ‘plan’ out the window after one week.   I nurse her to sleep and she sleeps in my bed.  Two cardinal sins apparently.  When discussing having a second child with one of my longest standing friends, she reassured me that I wouldn’t make these mistakes again and I felt offended. (She meant well – I was offended by the comment not by her) I may not have set out to co-sleep or comfort nurse my daughter but I sure as hell don’t consider them mistakes.  I am not in any way hurting Bubble and, in hindsight, I would choose the same again.

I do however accept there are downsides to these particular parenting choices.  This evening is one such downside.  She would not fall asleep.  I lay next to her whilst she rolled about, popping on and off the breast as she chose.  I would breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth, internally chanting ‘patience, patience, patience’.  It helped that on occasion she would pause to look at me, grin and crawl over to put her little chubby arm around my neck, press her soft forehead to mine and babble ‘’Mamumumum’’. 

I adore this child.  She did eventually fall asleep.  I came downstairs, frustration and adoration mixing up my head.  I resent the loss of my own time.  I love that she is such a content and happy child.  Her mother is with her when she settles into slumber and is there when she awakes.  Still, this time won’t last forever.  I understand that there will come a time when she can’t stand the sight of me and I dread it. 
Just watching Juno.  What a great wee film.  Cracking soundtrack.  It has taken me three times as long to write this post as a result of watching Juno.  I am mainly into sci-fi and fantasy (LOTR style fantasy) but sometimes there’s a book or a film that just can’t be knocked.  Juno is one such film.  An excellently written script.

My husband just called on the phone.  He’s en route back to Scotland for work.  I told him what I was doing and he asked me what it was I blog about.  And do you know, I could not answer him cos I have no idea what I blog about.  I guess I’m just going to keep going and let Number Five find its own personality.  I suppose it’s a little like my parenting – I’m going to go with my instinct and let Bubble develop as naturally as possible.  If she isn’t ready to come off the breast, then I’m not going to force her.  Even if it takes me nearly an hour and a half of my precious time to get her to sleep.

She’s worth it.
:o)

4 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post!!

    My little Ashley (April 2010) seems to be about the same age as your little Bubble.

    I bed-shared with Ashley for about 5 months- not by plan but because it was just right for us. My eldest was in her own cot in her own room by a few weeks old. Again, not by plan but because it's what was right in the situation (she was already sleeping through the night and my being in the room disturbed her).

    Now I have two happy, healthy children who are both excellent sleepers and go to bed without any fuss and wake up without any fuss! I know it's partly luck but I like to think it's also because I didn't fight their natural sleep patterns/ development.

    Mama's need their sleeping patterns followed too though- does Bubble go down ok for naps during the day?

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  2. Hi Laura... Thanks for posting! :o)

    Bubble's her nickname, lol! Her name is Isobel (we'd been calling her Isobubble, then shortened to Bubble) She takes one nap during the day which goes without a bother but I do nurse her to sleep then too.

    I'd agree on not fighting the natural sleep pattern. I know some folk regulate their children in a strict routine but half the time the wee ones stay playing in their cot until they tire out...what's the difference really?

    I love your blog btw... it's down to earth and feels like it's the real you. Some blogs can be a little pretentious :o) but then, it would be a very boring place if we were all the same eh?

    Cheryl x

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  3. yeh, nah, I'm a pretty straight forward kind of person =op

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  4. That's what I like about you and your blog :o) I'm still trying to find my 'style/voice/personality' in this blog. I'm trying to be myself but i think i come across as all over the place!!

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Thanks for dropping by! I'll be sure to pop over to you too sometime soon :o)

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