Home is where the Heart is

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It has been a very long time now that Wad and I have been in this routine.   By 'this routine' I mean that he works away all week and comes home to us at the weekend.  But that isn't even 'the routine' anymore.   There is no longer a routine. Wad's work absences have been stretching into increased periods away from hearth and home that now he can be apart from us for two weeks at the time... It's awful.   Bubble is now at an age where she now recognises that Daddy leaves and as such has some separation anxiety with him. When he is home, she won't let him out of her sight.   It is quite a stressful situation and only places more strain on the already taut nerves of our family unit.

It has been an even longer time that Wad and I have dreamed of relocating to Australia.   We're watching lots of family and friends flee the recession here in the UK to find their place in our dream and that's hard too. 


But in a way the 'routine' has made it more imperative for us to be together as a family than to find a way to Australia.   So Bubble and I are going to join Wad across the water.   We've found a cute little abode that will serve as our castle, from where we will plan our attack against the invading hordes of the double dip recession.   We'll stand together as a family unit because that is the only way we're going to get through this difficult period in our life.

And when it's over, we'll tell the story of our 'hard times' to our children, berating them on how easy life is for them... living in the sun, surfing every day, eating al fresco.   We'll tell them how hard we worked to get where we are, that they should work hard too so that they can enjoy the fruits of their labour.

And they will roll their eyes and stomp off, grumbling about Mum and Dad's 'life lecture' that they've heard a HUNDRED times before!

:o)

Grateful For Grandads

Bubble's paternal grandfather has been AWOL for six months.  But then, he is notorious for disappearing for months at a time so this is nothing unusual.  He is an alcoholic and has been battling with this for the last 17 years.  For a period of about 5 years he was dry... he was even in attendance at our wedding.  Everyone thought he was a very charming and affable man.  But then his wife passed away from cancer and he fell into the drink again and has not really made it out since.

It is difficult for Wad to discuss his father.  He has experienced alot of pain and hardship as a result of choices his father made.  He will never forget that, ultimately, when forced to choose between his family and the drink, his father chose to drink.

Is it odd for me to say that I am grateful for the way Wad's father treated him?  Wad's father, through his maltreatment of Wad, has actually solidified Wad into the most dependable and caring man.  A completely devoted father.  He has vowed never to let his wife and family down.  He works like a slave to keep us afloat in this recession.  He cannot get enough of Bubble and is desperate for the time that is just him and her.

The complete opposite to the way his father behaved in a very similar situation.

It's a sad story and one that most likely will not have a happy ending.  But I am grateful for the influence that Bubble's grandad has had on her father because we are in a much stronger position as a family because of him.

New Fangled Technology

I came across this funny on facebook, posted by an old uni roommate of mine.  It occurs to me that this cheeky wee image makes me a little sad.  Whilst my toddler whisks her way through the touch screen menus of my phone, tablet PCs and the underwhelming IPad, I can't help feeling a little something has been lost.  I am not unaware that I am following in the footsteps of the laments of generations before mine... I'm quite certain these cries were heard about computers vs pen and paper back in the day. But still...

I am quite the sentimental type and will hang on to any item that even slightly whiffs of nostalgia.  Of course, this is much to my detriment as it also means that I hoard the most useless bunch of crap that ever existed since Noah built the Ark.

I wonder at the hundreds of cassette tapes that have boxed up in the attic.  I love listening to my tunes and have made full use of the modern technology that is the IPod...I have most of my listening appetite on it (them.  I have a couple.  And the IPhone).  I will most likely never use a cassette player again - in fact the only one I do have chews up cassette tapes in the only way an '80's relic can.  So WHY are they taking up valuable storage space?

Because a little part of me worries that one day I will lose my music collection in cyberspace.   Because you can't lose a cassette into thin air.  Now we have iCloud...where (for a small annual fee) we can store hundreds of millions of documents, photos, files, data, you-name-it into nothingness.  Brilliant, isn't it? (It's genius, no wonder Apple wipes its backside with $100 bills)

Call me a technophobe but seriously, everything's virtual these days, don't some of you hanker for the tangible?!

;o) 

Grateful For Grandads

Bubble has three grandads (so this is the first of 3 Gratefuls). She owes a good many things (and each different) to each of them.  The above image is of Bubble and her Grandad through my mum's marriage.  My step-father.  He is not related to her by blood but he loves her (like he loves me) as his own and does all the 'grandad' things with her that her other two grandads are unable to.  She owes stability and security to him.  He is the kind of man that is a rock in a storm, a safe harbour.  He will always be there for her and I am very grateful for him.

That's Sick

"That's sick."
                                                                                       

This was the response I received from a woman recently at a family birthday party, when I told I still breastfed my 20 month old daughter.  This woman breastfed her own children til they were about 6 weeks old.  She was the most enjoyable company up until that point.  The feeling behind her statement took me completely by surprise.  She had been so affable and we'd be getting on like the proverbial house on fire.  

Have a look at the image of my daughter asleep on the breast...is that really so offensive?  What is so "sick" about breastfeeding a toddler?  Mothers give their toddlers dummies and bottles, don't they?  That's exactly what I'm doing, I'm just not replacing the original item with the modern counterpart.

I don't for one instant condemn the use of a bottle but I am starting to get a little hacked off at the way breastfeeding is perceived as an "alternative" form of feeding your child.  That you are in some way 'wacky' or 'eco-friendly' or (my personal favourite) an 'earth mother'.  The "breast is best" slogan is partially to blame for this, I believe.  Ramming such nonsense down vulnerable new mothers' throats is half the issue and can only lead to negativity towards those who breastfeed.  It gives ammunition to those coporate giants who would benefit financially by drawing mothers into different camps when choosing how to feed their child.

There should be no slogan at all.  Breast is NORMAL. At least, it should be.

Grateful For a Welcome Back :)

Having been away for a couple of months, I was incredibly nervous to come back. Would I still have any followers? Would anyone still be interested? Would folk have written me off as just another blogger that fell by the wayside?

Self absorbed I know.

But to my utter delight, you are all still there. Not only are you still there but you are welcoming me back into the fold and shouting Hooray! Keep at it girl!

And I will. :o)

Thank you so very very much!

So I'm back.

It's been a few months.

But the point is that I'm back.

I could give out the excuses of the packed in laptop, the additional familial duties and the woes of family intrigues... the increased stays with my mother whilst Wad spends longer periods away at work, Bubble's increasing demand on my time and energy...

...Regardless of the reason, it's time I got back in the saddle.  I REFUSE to give up on this blog as I have on the other four.  Not this time.  No way.  No how.

:o)

Grateful For...

Today I'm grateful for microwaves. 

Yes, I know this is stupid but if you are a serial leaver of unfinished tea/coffee then you can NEVER underestimate the value of the microwave. If the aliens in 'Signs' could have been defeated with leftover teas and coffees, I could have kicked ass.

However, I am not a monster with no palate. I know that microwaving a cold cup of tea or coffee can destroy it but when surviving on minimal sleep, I'm afraid I need the caffeine ingredient rather than the actual enjoyment of the flavour of the leaves/beans.

It's an addiction. (caffeine, not microwaves)

*sigh*

*yawn*

*slurp*

:o)

Busy-ness..

It's been a while I know!  I've not abandoned my blog!  Things at home just got super busy... for one thing my mother is having an extension built for which Wad and I are the architects.  It has just gone on site and already we've hit a few (expensive!) snags.

But not to worry, I'll be back on top of my dear dull diary shortly...  Hopefully be joining in the Saturday Grateful!

Chat to you all soon!

:o)

One Child Wonder

First off, can I say thankyou to all the lovely comments on last Saturday's Grateful post!  Bubble is on the mend and devastating my make-up bag as I type!  Although if anyone can suggest how I get her eat anything other than cheerios and digestives, I'd be awfully grateful! (again...that's a good one for next Saturday!)

I discovered recently that a friend of mine is an only child.  Which astounded me as she has none of the usual attributes associated with single children.  She is not selfish nor does she have any family issues.  In fact she always has a smile for you and is a caring listener.

The reason this is of interest to me is because, for some strange reason, I don't know that I will have any more children.  I think I always thought I'd have two or three and this feeling comes as a surprise.  When trying to concieve Bubble, I desperately wanted her.  There was nothing in my life more important.  Now that I have her, I feel blessed and I am in total adoration of every aspect, every molecule that makes up my wonderful little girl.

But I have no desire to have another.

It's not that I don't want another baby, I'm just totally indifferent.  In my heart of hearts, I want Bubble all to myself, her and me against the world! Lol... But to have another just because...well, I'm not so sure.  I feel that I should want the second child as much as I wanted Bubble.  I think I worry that if I don't want the next as much, will I love that child as much as I love her?

Then again I have to ask myself, is it really such a wrong to not have any more children?  Everyone says to me, 'Oh! You have to give her a wee brother or sister' but why?  It didn't adversely affect my friend so why would it affect my daughter?  It isn't as if we live in the middle of the desert with no other human contact.  She has plenty of friends and second cousins to play with.  Or am I just justifying my lack of interest in another baby?  Answers on a postcard!

Am I being weird?  Have any other mothers felt like this?!

Help! :o)